(Shenandoah) -- With Mike Peterson still recovering from Thanksgiving dinner--not to mention the Iowa-Nebraska football game--it's time once again to welcome a guest blogger...that strange visitor from the east!
The all-knowing, all omniscient, famous seer, sage, soothsayer, and former U.S. ambassador to the Ukraine...MIKENAC THE MAGNIFICENT!!!
Today, Mikenac will divine the answers to questions from hermetically-sealed envelopes kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnall's porch since noon yesterday. NO ONE knows the contents! But Mikenac, in his borderline mystical way, will ascertain the answers having never before seen the questions!
Mikenac: I must have complete silence.
Announcer: You've had it many times before.
The answer: "60 Minutes," "Meet the Press," and "Fox and Friends"
The question: Name two TV news programs and a comedy program.
The answer: Ho, ho, ho!!
The question: How does Santa Claus take care of his garden?
(LOUD MOANS FROM THE AUDIENCE)
Mikenac: Hmmmmm, Mikenac heading into Braddyville bedpan!!
The answer: 5 Seconds of Summer
The question: How long did Beto O'Rourke's presidential campaign last?
The answer: "A Beautiful Day In the Neighborhood"
The question: Describe the College Football Playoffs without Alabama.
The answer: A civil defense siren, snoring, and a jackhammer.
The question: Name three sounds less annoying than "the Baby Shark Song."
The answer: "Ballin'"
The question: How did Nebraska football fans spend Friday evening?
The answer: Old Navy
The question: Describe a battleship carrying geriatric sailors.
The answer: Amazon.com
The question: Where does Wonder Woman do most of her Christmas shopping?
The answer: "Toy Story 4," "Frozen 2"
The question: What's the score of the Toy Story-Frozen game?
Announcer: I hold in my hand the LAST envelope!!
(WILD CHEERING FROM THE AUDIENCE)
Mikenac: May a crazed county road crew sand and salt your living room!
The answer: a Cardinal, a Blue Jay and Roger Stone
The question: Name a red bird, a blue bird and a jail bird!
Mikenac the Magnificent filled in for Mike Peterson, senior news anchor/reporter with KMA News. The opinions expressed in this blog are not necessarily those of this station, its management and its ownership. In fact, we'll just pretend like this blog never happened!