(Shenandoah) – With Mike Peterson still celebrating the Kansas City Chiefs’ victory in the AFC Championship, it’s time to bring in our guest blogger—that strange visitor from the east!
The all-knowing, all omniscient, famous seer, sage, soothsayer, and former career counselor for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle...MIKENAC THE MAGNIFICENT!!!
Today, Mikenac will divine the answers to questions from hermetically-sealed envelopes kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnall's porch since noon yesterday. NO ONE knows the contents! But Mikenac, in his borderline mystical way, will ascertain the answers having never before seen the questions!
Mikenac: If we have enough time after that long introduction!
I must have complete silence.
Announcer: You’ve had it many times before!
Answer: Stop, yield and no parking this side
Question: Name the only three signs the Houston Astros didn’t steal.
Question: What will Iowans be doing when February 3rd is over?
Answer: A two-hour early dismissal
Question: When did USC fans begin leaving the Holiday Bowl?
Question: Name the sister Groucho, Harpo and Chico never talk about.
Answer: Panic! At The Disco
Question: What happened when a dance club DJ played polka music instead of hip hop?
Answer: Monster Jam
Question: What does Godzilla spread on his toast?
(LOUD GROANS FROM THE AUDIENCE)
Mikenac: May a sickly hippopotamus sneeze in your cappuccino!
Answer: “Chicago Med”
Question: Name a service Chicago’s sports teams needed last season.
Question: When was the last time KMAland roads weren't icy?
Answer: Alicia Keys
Question: What do you use to open an Alicia?
Announcer: I hold in my hand the last envelope!
(LOUD CHEERING FROM THE AUDIENCE)
Mikenac: May the best meal you ever ate be Alpo beef chunks!
Answer: Jared Goff, Gavins Point, and no witnesses at the Senate impeachment trial
Question: Name a Ram, a dam, and a sham!
Mikenac the Magnificent is guest blogger for Mike Peterson, senior news anchor/reporter at KMA. The opinions—and lame attempts at humor—in this blog are not necessarily those of this station, its management or its ownership.