(Shenandoah) – So, how is that isolation thing going?
Entering week three of the coronavirus threat, millions of Americans are needing the words of government and health officials to stay indoors to ward off the spread of COVID-19. Make no mistake, the global pandemic remains a serious situation. It’s affecting virtually every part of society, and everything we do. And, it won’t get better anytime soon. At the same time, we know that you need a break from the constant flow of information regarding coronavirus. That’s why after two straight serious blogs dealing with the virus, this reporter is going back to the original purpose of this Sunday morning effort: to provide relief from the news, and occasionally some downright foolishness.
Rest assured, yours truly is doing his bit for social distancing by staying home when not at KMA. For me, it’s not that difficult. After all, I practically invented social distancing when I was younger. When you’re not popular at school, you tend to spend your days reading comic books, watching TV, listening to music and playing with all of those great action figures from the 1960’s and ‘70’s.
These days, I don’t have all my comic books—one of my older brothers is comic book collector in our family. And, all of my G.I. Joes and other action figures were sold years ago—in a moment of insanity. But, there’s plenty of other things I’m doing to pass the time when at home. That’s why I’m offering some social distancing tips to help you through this crisis:
1. Order takeout or delivery from your favorite restaurants. While Iowa is under a dining-in restaurant ban until at least April 7th. Fortunately, most eating establishments offer takeout options. My recommendation is the Monty Python Spamalot Restaurant, offering this takeout menu:
---Egg and bacon
---Egg, sausage and bacon
---Egg and spam
---Egg, bacon and spam
---Egg, bacon sausage and spam
---Spam, bacon, sausage and spam
---Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam
---Spam. sausage, spam, spam, bacon, spam, tomato and spam
---Spam, spam, spam, egg and spam
---Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam and spam.
AND Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy, and with a fried egg on top, and spam.
(And no, they don’t have anything without spam.)
2. Read a book. Now, I realize this may be tough, given that most libraries and book stores are closed for the duration. Fortunately, there’s Kindle, and other electronic means to read books. Or perhaps you may actually have some old hardcover books laying around (remember those?). Either way, there’s no better way to relieve stress and get through a major crisis than reading a book.
My recommendation is a new book called “The Wit and Wisdom of Fox News Commentators.” It’s one page longer than the books, “Famous Antarctic Television Personalities of the 19th Century,” or “The 2019 Kansas City Royals: A Season to Remember.”
3. Stream your favorite movie or T.V. program. Let’s face it: video streaming services were made for situations such as the coronavirus crisis, with people stuck in doors and going stir crazy. Fortunately, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime and other services are offering tons of programs and movies to get you through this time. Two of the most popular programs on Netflix are “Love is Blind,” (which makes “the Bachelor” look like a PBS program, “Tiger King,” offering murder, mayhem and big kitties.
Memo to Netflix: you need to come up with a show combining “Love is Blind” and “Tiger King.”
4. Catch up on all the movies you’ve been meaning to watch on video or DVD. If you’re like me—and Lord help you if you’re like me—you’ve got programs and movies you’ve been waiting to watch, but somehow never found the time (because you’re too busy livestreaming stuff. But, I digress). Now’s the perfect time to dig into the stacks of DVDS that have gathered dust over the years.
This reporter has several DVDs I bought years ago, but never watched. Case in point, the oldest one I have is “Ben Hur”—the 1950’s version with Charleton Heston. What can I say? I’m old, too.
5. Spend quality time with your family, who are stuck in the house like you are. And, don’t forget to look in on your pets. If you’re bored, take pictures of your dogs and cats. For example, I took a picture of my cat Bella the other day. It was such a good picture I thought I would use it as the carousel picture for my blog. Such a photogenic kitty.
Those are just some of the tips I have for keeping your sanity in isolation during this difficult, abnormal situation. Remember: isolation is a small price to pay for battling a virus that’s eating away at our country. Stay safe and stay tuned, and we’ll all get through this.
Mike Peterson is senior news anchor/reporter with KMA News. The opinions expressed in this blog are not necessarily those of this station, its management or its ownership.